Proteins are not my friend

So I'm currently stuck in the lab waiting for my potassium chloride gradient to run through my EAH sepharose column. It's nearly 2am. I started in the lab somewhere around 9:30am. Ugh! I knew that today was going to be long. I just underestimated how long. Generally speaking I like column chromotography. For the unfamiliar, which is most people that might read this, all of this is a bunch of hocus pocus to separate out one particular protein from the gazillions (yes that is a technical term) of other proteins in a cell extract. Imagine you have a bunch of bean bag chairs filled with styrofoan beans of thousands of different colors. You break open the bean bags, dump all of the beans into a big vat. But you just want to have the light purple colored beans. That's what I'm up against here. Obviously I'm tired and I'm beginning to get a little loopy. I really want to get some things done this week though! The Fall semester starts Monday. I'm taking three classes and I have qualifying exams starting in September. Things are going to start to get busy. I really want to get all of my academic stuff out of the way so that I can focus on research and getting to the next stage. Sigh. I wonder what that might be. Oh well. I need to get back to work.

A must see movie!!!

I'm really tired and I should be in bed at the moment, but I've been meaning to make this post all week. Sunday night I got a chance to see the movie Hotel Rwanda. Wow. It was well done and very moving. I was only in high school when the events surrounding the movie took place, but I remember how much apathy there was to the genocide that was occuring in Rwanda during the 1990's. As Americans we can become so insulated to the outside world. True poverty and social injustice are things we rarely see. We are separated by physical distance and by the large gap that exists between the haves, and the have-nots. This movie does a wonderful job of providing a window into a world most of us don't know exists and it makes me want to do something, anything, to make a difference int the world around me. So, if you haven't seen it yet, see it. It is graphic and violent and you may want to turn away at points, but I think there are lessons to be learned from it that we all need.

That is all for tonight. I need to sleep. G'night!

Me first!!!

This week has been hard. I feel like I've been pulled in so many different directions. I haven't had much time to focus on myself. I'm beginning to feel the effects of neglecting my own needs. There is this ongoing struggle to find balance in my life. Lately I've taken a back burner. That needs to stop! I can't adequately serve others if I don't take care of myself first!!! I need to reprioritize my day so that I can do things like exercise and eat right. Sigh. I think it's a never ending battle. But I'm not going to give up!!!

I was surfing around looking for some inspirition and I ran across a really amusing blog this morning that I just have to share: http://tinyurl.com/6vz3r (warning, it contains some foul language). Teehee. I'm glad I'm not along in my struggles.

A different approach

I am in the process of reconfiguring my life. Recently, I have run into a serious limitation of life in general: there just simply isn't enough time to do the things that I want to do. I'm not even talking about big goals here. Really, all I just want to be able to accomplish the basic tasks of daily life, like keeping a clean house, staying in shape, writing in my blog, etc. In the meantime I am trying to remain faithful to the Lord. I've really been struggling with finding spiritual fulfillment lately. Have you heard the saying: BUSY= burdened under Satan's yoke? Seems like I don't have much time to sit and read the Word and reflect on my life. So I have a plan. I have a wonderful book that Michael gave to me called Devotions for Women on the Go. It points to a short Bible reading for each day and provides a short devotion to reflect upon. I am going to commit to reading it each morning and maybe each evening I can sit down at my computer and put my thoughts on the subject into my blog. Sound like a good idea? It does to me.

So today's reflection was on John 12:23-28. The reading focuses on death as a means to new life. The devotion talked about metamorphosis. It discussed the process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly and how there are "cocooning" times in our lives when we have to sit back and wait for God to work in our lives. There are times when we know what God is calling us to be, but we have to wait until the time is right. Patience is a virtue that is hard to come by. It is a form of death in a way. When we are patient, we are giving up our own desires and agendas and giving ourselves over to the Lord and trusting that He will provide.

I needed to hear this reading today for sure. I spent the weekend with a couple of my sisters and the word marriage was dropped in conversation more times than I can count. Everybody wants to know when I'm going to get married. Ugh! Believe me, I want to get married. I feel a strong call toward the vocation of marriage. Having said that, now is not the time for me or my boyfriend. We're both still in school and we still have some things we'd like to take care of before we get to the point of marriage. Meanwhile, waiting for the right time is hard. We're in a period of coccooning and I know that the Lord is preparing us for something more beautiful than what we could have if we were to get married today. I think that at this point in my life all that I can do is look forward to when the time s right and do what I can to prepare my heart for my vocation.

New favorite song

So, I should be studying right now, but I just had to report that I've found a new favorite song. Maybe I sing it for my rockstar debut :-)

In You
by Mercy Me

I put my hope in You
I lay my life in palm of your hand
I'm constantly drawn to You Lord
In ways I cannot comprehend

It's the Creator calling the created
The Maker beckoning the made
The bride finding what she's always waited for
When we find ourselves that day

[CHORUS:]
In You where the hungry feast at the table
The blind frozen by colors in view
The lame will dance, They'll dance for they are able
And the weary find rest
Oh the weary find rest in You

It's no secret that we don't belong here
Those set apart by the grace of You
And we look for the day when we go to a place
Where the old becomes brand new.

It's been a really rough week. My cat has been sick (in a v. expensive way) and school is once again stressful. I find this song comforting. Peace!

So I wanna be a rock star

Secretly, I want to be a rock star. You know, super cool, guitar playing God's girl like Jennifer Knapp. Hmmm. Not sure how that fits with the whole PhD in Biomolecular Science thing.

Ups and Downs

This has been kindof a strange week. There's been a lot of ups and downs. Sometimes it just feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I'm helpless. Then there are the moments where I feel like I can do almost anything. Right now I'm feeling a little defeated. I feel like there is so much to be done and not enough time to do it. My life is flying by!!! It's kindof scary to think about the passage of time. It can be a little overwhelming. Before I know it, I'll be sixty five and wishing I'd saved more money for retirement. I want to seize life in every moment! I was listening to the song "This is your life" by Switchfoot on the radio today (yes, Z88.3 actually played something different for once) and there were two lines that really struck me:

"this is your life and today is all you've got now"

How true is that?! Sometimes I can get so wrapped up in what's to come, or what I've already done that I forget to live for today. I can't neglect the future or the past, but I need to keep in mind that this moment, right now, is all that I have and I shouldn't take it for granted.

"this is your life, are you who you want to be"

Sometimes I think about what my ideal life would be like. How would I behave? What would I do differently than I'm doing right now. I know that we can't expect perfection and there are some things that we can't acheive or maintain, but I think it's good to have a picture in your mind of who you'd like to be. It's similar to a technique I learned at Weight Watchers where you focus on the positive outcomes of your weight loss efforts as a tool for the journey. I like to imagine myself as a much nicer person who doesn't complain too much and isn't overly critical, who takes good care of herself, takes time to spend with the Lord each day and gives of herself completely. I will probably never live up to that image, but it's good to keep it in mind.

I have to say, now that I've written all of this I am feeling a little better about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. I think it's time for me to head to bed. Goodnight!